have is a little like searching for some item of necessity in the junk
stores overflowing with rubbish. Some weeks when I hear the strain in
Paul's voice as he constantly repeated, "rejoice always, I will say it
again, rejoice!" There are weeks which make me dizzy and nauseous, weeks
where I find myself calling out in a desperate plea to the carousel
operator, "stop the ride now, here is where I get off."
But He does not forget me. The problem is that I forget Him. And the
ways that He reminds me that He is in my very midst, that He seeks me
out in my own filth, that He carries me and covers me with His presence
and the power of His love... well those are really remarkable.
Maybe it was the voices of students from yesterday's class calling out
to me in the hallway "Do you feel better today Ms. Kelly?" or maybe it
was His. Perhaps my teammate wrapped a bag of crackers that actually
taste good, an anomaly in this city, to my door handle, or maybe His
Spirit did it. Maybe that box from some dear friends back home complete
with Autumn Wreath scented candles was delayed by the haphazard Chinese
postal service or maybe it was directed by His hand to arrive at the
perfect time.
And stranger things have happened.
Maybe, just maybe, the ancient, hunchbacked old Tibetan lady whom I've
never seen before wearing a dusty stained chuba and brightly colored
head scarf, who was slightly grinning as she half gummed half chewed a
salt boiled potato, blocking the entrance to my apartment building with
her crippled body and dented metal kettle filled with more boiled
potatoes, insisted that I take at least one. Maybe it was her wrinkled
and chapped hands that thrust the kettle towards me... but maybe they
were His. And maybe it was her eyes that glinted in the autumnal sun as
she disappeared around the corner, but maybe, just maybe, they were His.
Blessings in the voice of my students, a pack of crackers, scented
candles, and a kettle of boiled potatoes. He speaks, He provides, He
reminds, He offers. The moral of this story: always take whatever is
inside the kettle.
